Finding Our Rhythm
The COVID-19 experience has been for the most part a time of healing for our household. We are home together more often, with fewer distractions. Since the beginning of this year I have taken a much more laid back approach to our homeschooling. I am still getting used to life with kid #2 in the picture, so I wanted to let go of control a little and observe how things settle with everyone without too much push from me.
I am aware that I have a tendency towards being a pusher, so changing this habit requires a lot of focus on the present moment. I watch how I naturally react to things and see how soon I can alter my reactions until I am no longer reacting and instead choosing my preferred response.
Beautiful things have come from this. For starters, rather than focusing on what everyone else needs I have been checking in with what I need more often. For example, I need to move in the mornings, preferably on my Yoga mat. Erich is still working M-F so I am home alone with them during the weekdays. I have made it a priority to wake up, drink some water, and head straight to the Yoga mat. I turn on music and invite my son (age 5) to join me. He usually does as long as he can choose our playlist, so we have started calling it Music & Movement. It's something we both look forward to and even the baby can share with us as part of her morning tummy time routine.
What this Quarantine + my attention to observe rather than control has led to is a more natural daily rhythm in our home. Our days are very rhythmic and I barely had to do it on purpose. I just had to step back and ask myself what I needed at each time of day, and when I honored it I noticed everyone in my household benefited, too. We all just relax together and do what feels good, and usually it works out that everyone finds what suits them. Of course, sometimes I have to adjust what I want to do in order to meet the needs of my children, but even that feels like self-care because being awake, present, and aware for them feels wonderful deep in my soul.
Free Learning
I have been doing a lot of personal reflection about my own education lately. I absolutely loved college and I am so glad I had the privilege of being able to attend the school of my choice. I did not particularly love primary, middle, or high school. I found them socially uncomfortable, stressful, and sometimes unsafe.
Realizing this has made me question what I actually learned during those periods of my life, those very crucial years of personal development. Of course, I learned some reading, writing and arithmetic, but MOST of what was taught to me on those subjects I have forgotten; unless I currently use it in my daily life. Over the course of my public education what I really learned was to control myself, to be obedient and pleasing to others. That's what was really being drilled. I was not encouraged to be creative, I was not taught how to manage stress, and I was not taught to how to regulate my emotions.
I recently read an article on
Psychology Today that identified schools as we know them as a type of prison. By definition a
prison is any place of involuntary confinement and restriction of liberty. As a child I was not free, I did not have a voice in my education, nor did my parents take the time to regularly speak with me about how it felt to live in our home. Thus 100% of my earliest years I had little to no actual freedom. It's no wonder so many of us struggle when we get out of school and into "the real world" (which is a concept I have huge problems with...but I will save that for another post).
Right now, I would say my primary goal as a home school parent is to honor my child's individuality and liberty, while providing them with support to expand their knowledge and awareness while also learning to connect with others.
Most of my approach has to do with modeling the behavior I want to see from them. I believe manners and ethics can be taught through story telling and modeling. I am slowly weaning myself from the rewards/punishments of teaching how to behave. Kids naturally want things to be fair, they just need support dealing with strong emotions. I work very diligently to teach what I call emotional fluency - the capacity to communicate clearly about our feelings.
Non-Linear Learning
Learning happens. I don't believe a fancy curriculum is needed to make learning happen. I don't think I need to push or drill things to make learning happen. I have faith in my child's ability to learn based on his interests. My goal is to support him in diving into those interests as deeply as possible. We do this through reading books, watching documentaries, taking trips, doing experiments, observing, and discussing things.
I asked my son to give me a list of the things he wants to learn about while we are respecting the shelter-in-place order given by the Illinois Governor this month. His list is pretty cool:
1. digging - we decided to excavate some large rocks I found on our property. we hope to use these rocks in our garden or as a border for his play area in the back yard
2. music & movement - he wishes to continue our morning ritual of moving together
3.
Bird Academy - we both love watching and feeding the birds so we are going to embark on an online course from Cornell University called eBird Essentials. If we like that one we will do a few more of their courses. They also have games, which he loves!
4. Minecraft - this game has a large presence in our household right now. To encourage the learning I see happening here I watch tutorial videos with him and together we learn new ways to explore the games MANY levels of creative expression. He also likes to make his own tutorial videos, showing an interest in public speaking and possibly teaching. I especially like the game he's into right now called "Just Build" in which he competes and collaborates iwth other gamers online to build based on themes. He's learning to read and spell by playing this, not to mention the abstract creative exercise of coming up with new and interesting ways to build things based on different themes.
5.
Prodigy Math - I'm not sure how excited he is about this one, but he selected it as part of his list. This is a math game that uses a wizard adventure story line to get kids to solve math problems. I like it because it tracks his progress and he enjoys the graphics and concept very much.
6. snuggling - I LOVE that this was on his list. When I probed he said he loves spending time with his family. I am excited to brainstorm how we can dive deeper into this category together!
7. Making tutorials - as mentioned in #4 making his own video tutorials is an interest of his. I hope to help him learn the basics of capturing and editing video as we look into this interest together. I have already downloaded an app that I am using for Yoga videos and I plan to show him how it works.
I think his list will give us plenty to work on during the Spring!
To keep things balanced in our home and well rounded for him I will also encourage daily exposure to the outdoors in the following forms:
- gardening
- nature walks/walking the dogs
- playing outside
- wood working with his Dad
He also has daily responsibilities:
- feeding the cats
- scooping the cat box
- self care (brush teeth & get dressed, etc...)
- putting away laundry
- picking up toys
Little Miss (4 months) continues to tag along at this point, but I make time to honor her needs and give her one-on-one time as much as possible.
I am very happy with how our school is functioning at this point. My kids are free to learn and I am open to their input on almost every decision that affects them. It is very different from the way I was raised and schooled, so my own un-education and reprogramming continues in earnest everyday. Thankfully, I have two of the best motivators I could ask for keeping me authentic and present everyday!
